


A Shackled Goddess

by Evil_Squirrel



Series: Whumptober 2019 [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Universe, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, POV Ymir (Shingeki no Kyojin), Whumptober, Whumptober 2019, also i kinda forgot that ymir would wear a blindfold so im asking you to kinda forget it too, technically yumikuri but not sure if i should tag it since theres no interaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2021-01-03 22:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21187331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evil_Squirrel/pseuds/Evil_Squirrel
Summary: Ymir walks towards her end with no regrets. Or does she?(Day 9: Shackled)





	A Shackled Goddess

The last time Ymir walked those streets, people casted stones at her because of her name. No matter how much she tried to protect herself – and that was hard enough when one’s hands are tied and they’re supposed to walk with the rope – they found a way to hurt her. It didn’t matter if the stones were thrown by Marleyans hating her for being the one who took a name of a girl who closed a deal with devil or by Eldians desperately trying to prove they’re the good ones. They all hurt the same.

_“Can I ask you something?” she said. They were sitting at the port, waiting for full moon for the boat to arrive._

_“Sure,” Reiner said. It was still three days until they would get to see Marleyan military._

_“I think I heard you saying something about being killers with not much time left. Why short time?”_

_“Everyone who inherits the titan power dies after 13 years.” Ymir’s heart sunk._

_“Oh.” So there was never a possibility of her and Historia living together until they got old. Her decision to go with them was right. Had she stayed, she would die after eight years and leave Historia with a broken heart and unanswered questions._

Reiner and Bertolt asked her multiple times if she really wanted it. Once she had made her decision, there was no way she would’ve changed it. There was no reason to. These two had families somewhere that cared about them. Not to start about the fact that they didn’t want to kill people in the first place. And she owed them.

She owed them for suddenly emerging from sand and killing one of their friends (and stealing his power). That must had affected the mission and maybe it had been the part of development to where they were now – hopeless, and one of them dissociative.

They still had roles to fulfill, she didn’t. When she thought about it, her life was mostly just playing roles. Even her name, Ymir, was just a role that was given to her by a man. Before that, she was a beggar.

Did she have family somewhere? It could be possible. Maybe they gave her up because her parents didn’t want a child. Maybe she wasn’t born out of love. Maybe she was, but her family died. It was possible they were beggars too and they froze in the streets. A Marleyan guard could shoot them for… basically anything. Or they lived normally in a house, but they were a part of resistance and they got titanized long ago. Anyway, there’s no reason for her to worry about that. She’s going to be killed soon.

Now, she walks that path again. People stare at her as she walks right behind the guard, her hands tied up by a rope again. She won’t be dodging anymore. There’s no reason to. She has regenerating powers now and she doesn’t really care.

No one throws things at her. They just look at her as she looks back. Some of them angered; some of them afraid. She notices yellow armbands on people generally wearing lower-class clothes. Eldians. Did she wear an armband? She doesn’t remember wearing one. Either times changed or the cult shielded her from that. She’s supposed to wear one now too, except she _accidentally_ lost it on the boat. They cannot titanize her since she has the power of one of the nine titans; they cannot punish her family instead since she has none; and they won’t risk putting her into a prison when they can feed her to one of their warriors immediately.

She can just bite herself to the tongue, transform and run away. Sure, there would be the army hunting her and no one would probably hide her in their house, but she can do it. Her Titan is fast, faster than all the other titans – that are now in Paradis anyway – and she’s basically immortal with her regenerating abilities. She has picked up the skills of hiding and stealing and they saved her many times. They would come into game even now. Everything depends on her goodwill.

It’s actually good to be a goddess. People treat her differently than when she was a beggar or a girl playing her part. Now she’s none of that. She’s Ymir. Just Ymir.

Part of her wishes to be selfish enough to run away. Just stop thinking of Reiner and Bertolt and living for herself. She even told Historia to live for herself. Ironically, she can’t do that.

The choice had been made already and it’s not like she can actually swim back to Paradis. Besides, she already wrote a goodbye letter and while she has no other goodbye letters for comparison, she thinks she wrote a good one.

For some reason, she imagines a hypothetical situation in which she escapes. Her transforming would surely cost lives of Marleyan guards close to her; her running away would surely result in soldiers firing from their guns and more people dying, even if she would pay enough attention not to accidentally stomp on someone. When this sort of thing happens, it doesn’t matter if one is a grandpa spending his last years with grandchildren or a man working in a factory or a little girl with bright future ahead of her; the universe doesn’t care. That’s what makes it appear cruel. However, if the universe doesn’t care, there’s no bad way to live a life and no role for anyone to fulfill which means everyone can do as they please.

They are already there?

“Change your clothes.” They hand her some sort of a white robe that somehow looks worse than what she wears currently. Why does she have to wear this? Maybe she will taste better in a night gown. She chuckles.

Where did she stop? The escape. Then, she would swim for a long, long time until she would arrive at the shore. Hopefully, she would actually arrive at Paradis and not somewhere else. After that, she would have to outrun all the titans, but be careful so Reiner and Bertolt and their comrades wouldn’t get her. So improbable. So stupid. She already made her decision, so why’s she thinking of this?

They’re chaining her up. There’s no room for regrets. But a marriage with Historia would be nice, even if for eight years. If Historia were there, she would yell at her that she should stop caring about some stupid promise and go with her so they could live for themselves. But she did. She spent five years within the Walls and three of them she spent around Historia. She got a chance at a better life and now she’s returning it. Thanks to her sacrifice, Reiner and Bertolt will get a few more years, Historia will live for herself and the ginger guy down there will get the Honorary Marleyan status, if she understood things correctly.

Why those second thoughts then? It's not like she lied to herself, or... did she? 


End file.
